Feb 23, 2004 4:12:57 PM
I said I was going to stay off of the blogging, but I can't help myself.
I'm so stressed. I'm distracted by everything. I have a big test plan due in two days and I don't know whether or not I've got it under control yet.
It's very sad that it's 4 PM and to me it feels like I'm halfway through my day. At least I'm not tired yet ... just not focused on the work I want to do. However, I fantasized about ramming my car into a cement wall at 60 MPH on my way into work, thereby leaving the project behind for someone else to do it.
I feel like I'm very close to the make or break point where they finally figure out what I'm made of as a tester ... which is apparantly a big pile of cheesy poofs. Agh.
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Posted by webcowgirl @ Feb 23, 2004 4:12:57 PM [Link]
Feb 16, 2004 10:39:33 PM
How did I escape the trailer park? It's a question that's haunted me. Admittedly, I never saw myself as poor: spending my teens as a black dressed art mope kept me from feeling like income was in any way inhibiting my ability to fit in with my peers (I never had known what the "right" clothes were to wear anyway). Fortunately I didn't have any medical emergencies to rub my existence near the bottom of the economic ladder in my face - and I was too odd to even get in a situation that might have resulted in a teen pregnancy (I probably kissed about six guys total in all of my high school years - so sad!).
But I've seen my cousins, who grew up in similar circumstances, grow into what in my mind are horrible lives - divorces, abusive relationships not easily escaped, inadequate dental care, prison time (for drunken brawling), horrible shit jobs that don't provide enough income to keep your kids from being spirited away by CPS. The same sexual abuse that seems to have crippled the girl cousin, keeping her afraid to leave a town of 50, afraid to try anything new, ever, either hit me with a lot less force or was simply overcome by some other circumstances for which only fortune can receive the credit. Sure, my grandmother taught me to read, but what kept me going to school when no one in my house (OK, I mean my mom) cared whether or not I went or what happened when I was there? How did I even wind up in college? In retrospect I could have clearly made better decisions about where I went (given the complete lack of advice of any sort that I received, I'm afraid I made bad choices and should have gone for Amherst over ASU), but I went and I did well - with zero parental oversight, input, or involvement.
Yet almost twenty years after I graduated I find that my life seems to have gone quite well. I have a house (not in the best neighborhood, but mine), a car, health insurance, a good job (this has not been so steady the last three years, but I am hoping this one will stick), a marriage of over 10 years with an exceedingly nice man, and generally speaking a damn good quality of life. I've not once wondered where my rent money would come from since about the middle of my sophomore year in college.
So when books come out about the "working poor" in America, I find I am very interested in them. This week's New York Times' has a review of a new one, "The Working Poor: Invisible in America,'' by David Shipler (see extended version of this blog entry for the full text if it expires on the New York Times' website). This book apparently moves beyond the simple homilies of Barbara Ehrenreich's "Nickled and Dimed," which I believe came from far too much of a position of privelege to be worth taking very seriously. ("Oh, look, darling, it's the working poor! I've always heard about them. Aren't they charming with their bad teeth and tasteless clothes?") It says this book is a must read, and I really am interested in seeing if I can get a couple of my friends together to examine this book and discuss it together.
I was disturbed to read in the review, though, that the evil of sexual abuse inflicted on girls is apparently just as wide-spread as I have often feared. My ex-LDS friend and I talk about what kind of regimes we grew up in, and for both of us we know that many of our sisters have been left behind in the trenches. It breaks my heart to see that this book's conclusion that the sexual abuse keeps the girls poor later - another cycle perpetuated. God, why do people get so worked up over the tiny numbers of men who have been abused by priests and not focus a little more on the girls who have been abused by their fathers and stepfathers? It just must not be as exciting of a story - since it's just so damn common.
Another review that came out this week in the Times is about Dalton Conley's "The Pecking Order: Which Siblings Succeed and Why." The question of sibling accomplishment has been of some interest to me, too, as I've watched my sister struggle with dropping out of high school, having a kid at 17, then being a single mother of a biracial child (I always figured she's be the one who went on welfare and/or had an abortion). And yet, I've seen her really get her shit together in the last two years, and now she's got a very good job (especially given that all she's working on is a GED), two wonderful kids, a newly purchased house, and what looks to me like a supportive relationship with a more than decent man who's a great father to both of her kids (even though just the little one is his). I hope that she just shoots like a star above all of the crap of her childhood/young adult years and gets permanently out of white-trashdom - God only knows she deserves all the happiness that comes her way.
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Posted by webcowgirl @ Feb 16, 2004 10:39:33 PM [Link]
Feb 4, 2004 10:48:59 PM
January may not be the best time to visit La Paz in the state of South Baja, Mexico, but it's a damn good time to get out of Seattle. After all, temps in the low-70s are summer-like for us Emerald City residents. Combine that with lots of sun and the promise of kayaking, drinking, and hotel rooms without TVs, and what more could you want?
We arrived at the San Jose del Cabo International airport on the direct flight that Alaskan runs during the cold months, then skillfully dodged the timeshare salesmen on our way to pick up our Dollar rentacar. We got a "Pointer" - a Mexico-only VW model that was pretty stripped down inside (no radio at all - but with AC) but a lot bigger than a Beetle - for $20 a day. Cathy, Worthy Opponent and I hopped inside, and off we went on Highway 1 to La Paz. (Yeah, sure, for another $200 we could have taken an AeroMexico flight directly to La Paz, but that would have required changing planes and I figured 2 hours on the highway wasn't going to be a big deal.)
We drove north, past Los Barriles (where we could finally see the ocean!) and headed into the mountain passes toward La Paz. The landscape was almost the friendly Sonoran desert of my native Arizona, but it all felt just not right. Instead of Saguaros and Organ Pipe cactus, there were these tall skinny multi-armed cacti that didn't look at all like Organ Pipes or Saguaros, and the Palo Verdes and Mesquite seemed to be replaced by odd waxy bushes I think might have been wild fig - and some ash trees in the hills. The things that looked like Century Plants had some kind of strange bushy flags on top. Thank goodness the Ocotillos looked the same! And it was lush - they had been getting a lot of rain. It was a really nice drive.
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Posted by webcowgirl @ Feb 4, 2004 10:48:59 PM [Link]
Feb 4, 2004 8:37:46 PM
We saw Tokyo Godfathers at the Crest this Sunday. It's a fairly run-of-the mill movie, like "Three Men and a Baby" or any other Hollywood flick. Its only saving grace is its beautiful anime-tography. The three main characters don't seem to have a lot of depth to them, and while the various situations they get themselves into are entertaining, they're not very deep. I was more attracted to the exotic locales ... in this case, all-night diners, convenience stores, the park they live in, and the tiny graveyard ... in which the movie is set. For $3, it was an evening well spent, but I'm glad I didn't pay any more.
Hopefully the new Robert Altman movie will be all I am hoping for. I anticipate seeing it soon.
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Posted by webcowgirl @ Feb 4, 2004 8:37:46 PM [Link]
Feb 2, 2004 5:16:03 PM
I've decided to call my mode of travel Tammy's Adventure Vacations. For example: Whale Watching with Tammy's Adventure Vacations! Instead of paying $125 to have someone drive you in a bus directly to a place where someone will be waiting to take you whale watching, you drive yourself, getting stuck behind a 30 vehicle caravan of fogeys driving their RVs down from Canada to Ciudad Constitucion. Every time you pass one, you're stuck behind another with a nice long no passing stretch of highway keeping you put. Then you go to the beach where NO ONE is waiting to take you whale watching. You argue with the professional outfit about going with them (No I don't want to wait another hour and then spend $100 per person and for four hours, I only want two hours and I need to go home before dark!), then go talk to the guy sitting in the plastic chair under a cheap looking tarp a mile down the road. He takes you to his house, where he has four boats parked in the yard, then you hop into his ancient truck and he drives you to the beach, where you enter an unsheltered boat guided by your "native" guide ("Uh ... so you don't speak any English? Hmm, that might not be so good for my companion here ... and I don't have a vocabulary that supports talking about marine biology.").
Of course, then you have a fabulous time, once you finally get on the water at 3 PM (when you would be leaving, after eating if you went on the expensive tour), but you still wind up driving home in the dark.
Tammy's Adventure Tours also feature the Saturday night cazuelada at El Zarape - as promised by our guide book (the Moon guide). Oops, they aren't doing the buffet anymore! (At least not for dinner - they are doing it for lunch.) That means we are stuck with what they bring us when we order the cazuelada. And ooh, what is that? A big bowl full of SIMMERED PORK SKIN. Yummers.
But ... we got 5 other bowls of food (simmered green chile strips, chicken mole, some kind of beef thing, and beans), and we had more food than we could eat. I felt so bad sending it all back. Except for the chicarrones.
More to come later ...
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Posted by webcowgirl @ Feb 2, 2004 5:16:03 PM [Link]